
Micah: juggling two kids, a rescue pitbull, and writing a newsletter from his kitchen table. Click to read more.
Issue 6 - May 26, 2025

[Placeholder: Awaiting new Daily Suburban comic for May 26, 2025] Check back for the latest suburban mishap!

DJP: Trump is right. Tariffs work. Deport them all — illegals, criminals, freeloaders. Click to read more.

Exploring the raw power of music and finance — from punk to prog, turntables to takeovers. Click for the full sonic story.

A gritty, gearhead dispatch from America’s asphalt. Part car review, part economic prophecy. Click for the full throttle take.

Tesla’s Optimus robots are no joke—DJP’s take on why TSLA is a buy. Click to read more.
Published: April 28, 2025
I hear the baby cry and I swear my chest tingles like I’ve got phantom let-down syndrome. This is the state of modern liberalism: overworked, under-caffeinated, and biologically confused. I’ve microwaved my coffee three times today and still drank it cold. That’s a metaphor. Probably. I’m running on four hours of sleep, a granola bar I found in the diaper bag, and the faint hope that my inbox doesn’t implode before noon. Welcome to 2025, where parenting and politics collide in a mess of spilled oat milk and existential dread.
Meanwhile, the Democrats — God bless ‘em — are bumbling around like they just got out of a Lyft in the wrong district. Messaging? A mess. Policy? Half-baked. Strategy? Still loading. They’re trying to sell “progress” while half the country is Googling how to afford eggs. I get it, inflation’s a global problem, but when your base is choosing between gas and groceries, maybe don’t lead with a lecture on carbon footprints. But I’ll say this: we ride with Kamala. The woman laughs in the face of chaos and then makes you question whether you’re the problem. She’s got that rare mix of grit and charisma that could either save the party or send it into a tailspin. I’m betting on the former, but I’ve been wrong before—like when I thought skinny jeans were making a comeback.
I watched her latest speech while folding tiny socks, and I swear I felt a flicker of hope. Kamala’s got a plan for affordable childcare, which might mean I can stop using my neighbor’s Wi-Fi to work from their porch while the kids nap. But the party needs to get its act together. Stop chasing viral moments on X and start talking to the people who are too tired to tweet. We need policies that don’t just sound good in a soundbite but actually help the folks who are microwaving their coffee for the fourth time today. More next week, unless the dog pukes on my Chromebook again—or the toddler decides my laptop is a gourmet snack.
Published: April 28, 2025
Enough already with the hand-wringing about Trump’s “tone.” You don’t hire a bouncer to make cupcakes. You hire him to guard the door. Trump closed the border. Shut it tight. No fly. No visitors. No flow of drugs and freeloaders under the guise of compassion. It was epic, it was effective, and it made America safer. Did you see the stats? Illegal crossings dropped like a stone—down 70% in some sectors. That’s not a talking point; that’s results. The cartels hated him, the traffickers cursed his name, and the bleeding hearts clutched their pearls. Good. That’s how you know it worked.
These armchair critics act like plans should come out of the oven fully baked. Ever hear of strategy? Let the man build it—we’re not handing out participation trophies. Trump’s not your therapist; he’s your commander. He doesn’t need to hold your hand and sing Kumbaya. He needs to get the job done, and he did. Look at the numbers: border apprehensions at a 20-year low, fentanyl seizures up, and communities that used to be overrun are breathing easier. You think that happens with “nice” words? Wake up. The world’s a rough place, and it takes a rough hand to fix it. If you can’t handle it, maybe politics ain’t for you.
And don’t even get me started on the media. They’re still whining about his tweets from 2018 while ignoring the actual wins. Trump didn’t just talk a big game—he delivered. He built the wall, got Mexico to step up with their own border patrols, and made it clear that America isn’t a free-for-all. Now they’re trying to rewrite history, acting like open borders are some kind of moral high ground. Tell that to the families who lost kids to smuggled drugs. Tell that to the towns bankrupted by the strain. Trump saw the problem, fixed the problem, and didn’t care who got offended. That’s leadership, not a PR campaign. If you can’t handle it, maybe politics ain’t for you.
Published: April 28, 2025

While everyone’s distracted by Elon’s tweets, I’m watching the actual product. Tesla’s new announcements on Optimus—that’s right, the robots—are no joke. The R&D coming out of the Palo Alto lab is revolutionary. If you think this is just a car company, you’re asleep at the wheel. Optimus isn’t some sci-fi pipe dream; it’s a real, walking, talking machine that’s already lifting crates in Tesla’s factories. They demoed it last month—smooth as silk, handling 50-pound loads like it’s nothing. This isn’t a gimmick; this is the future of labor, and Tesla’s got a head start.
I’m long on TSLA. Not because I like the guy, but because I know power when I see it—and it’s walking on two legs and answering your door next year. The market’s undervaluing what Optimus means. We’re talking about a $1 trillion industry—robotics, automation, AI labor. Tesla’s not just making cars; they’re building an ecosystem. You’ve got the Cybertrucks rolling out, the Megapacks powering grids, and now Optimus handling logistics. Elon’s playing chess while the rest of you are playing checkers. Ford and GM are still trying to catch up on EVs, and Tesla’s already three moves ahead, automating the workforce.
Here’s the kicker: Tesla’s got the data. Every car, every battery, every factory—they’re collecting metrics like nobody’s business. That data feeds into Optimus, making it smarter, faster, more efficient. By 2026, you’ll see these bots in warehouses, then homes, then everywhere. Wall Street’s too busy whining about Elon’s X posts to see the bigger picture. TSLA’s trading at $260 today; I’m betting it hits $400 by year-end. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Ignore the noise, watch the machine, and place your bets accordingly. Power doesn’t care about your feelings—it just wins.
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